So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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