i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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