We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
