So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
