Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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