I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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