i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
