my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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