Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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