Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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