So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
