Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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