She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
