what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
