OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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