Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize