I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
