It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
