would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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