he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
