yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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