Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize