normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
