i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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