its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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