I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
