If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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