I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize