im having a threesome with these popsicles
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
