You really coming over, don't trick.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize