dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
