i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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