She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
