i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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