please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
