so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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