i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
