on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
