sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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