My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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