He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
