Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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