i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
