How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
