I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
