it wasn't lemon gatorade
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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