he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
