at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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