Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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