Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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