Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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