Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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