i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
