i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
