does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
