I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
