he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
there is puke in my bra ... again
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