you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
