I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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