i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
