i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
