Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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