O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
