Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
