Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize